Seeing my Baby’s Face

2012-02-08 12.09.17There is something I need to write about. It’s been niggling away in my mind for a while now, but honestly I haven’t had the courage to speak up.

I’m ashamed of my fear. There are those who have no voice – they’re silenced before they have a chance to cry.

Before I was a mother I was fairly ambivalent about the issue of abortion. I listened to both sides and wondered – why the big fuss? Can it really be so important?

And then we found out we were having a baby.

I went along at 7 weeks to have my first ultrasound. On the screen I saw Eloise’s heart beating.

As the weeks progressed, at every appointment, we would listen to that heart beat. It was a powerful beat; the doctor described it as sounding like a galloping horse.

And then at around 19 weeks, two amazing things happened. I started to feel my baby move. At first it was tiny flutters, like Eloise was dancing inside me. Eventually the movements would feel much stronger; there were powerful kicks and rolling around. I could even see my baby moving inside of me. I loved lying on my bed and watching my baby move.

At 19 weeks I went along for another ultrasound. I remember being filled with such excitement; today I was going to see my babies face. You can see Eloise in the ultrasound above. Her arms, legs and head are very clear.

At the ultrasound the nurse counted my babies toes. She had ten toes. Her fingers were counted. She had ten fingers. I tell you these details because somehow they felt so special at the time. It was thrilling to see every toe and finger.

We saw her legs and her little arms. And I saw my babies face for the first time.

As I waited for the end of my pregnancy, my doctor told me that my baby was putting on weight.  He told me I was like a perfect intensive care unit, providing all the needs for my baby before she came into the world.

In Australia babies can be aborted up to 20 weeks of age and sometimes later.

How can we allow this to happen? We are obviously not providing the support to pregnant women that is needed.

I’ve come to realise how important this issue is. In The Screwtape Letters by C. S Lewis he says in every age we are morally confused  We fail to see the real problems with our time. “The game is to have them all running about with fire extinguishers when there is a flood, and all crowding to that side of the boat which is already nearly gunwale under.”

Since become a Mum I’ve started to feel we are a very morally muddled indeed. Our silence on abortion is truly horrific. The debate should not be over.

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